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A Change of Heart – A Christmas Story
“I’ve decided to skip Christmas this year,” I said to my granddaughter, Angie, as I got on Highway 169 in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
“Grandma, you did that last year.” Angie dropped her cell-phone-clasped-hands in her lap. Her brows furrowed as she stared at me. Due to the economy, the threat of furloughs, she hadn’t gotten anything from me last year and probably wondered if I’d leave her off my Christmas list again this year.
“Last year was different. I didn’t have any money. This year, I don’t feel like shopping. I’m tired of trying to decide what to get everyone. Besides, I can’t think of a thing you don’t already have.”
“Tickets to the Miley Cyrus concert.” Angie smiled, raising and lowering her eyebrows.
Miley Cyrus. The young lady who’s trying to prove she’s not a little girl anymore. I saw pictures of her on the internet. She made the headlines and even got a spot on the evening news. I gnawed on my lower lip as I merged onto the Broken Arrow Expressway. I tried to imagine being in front of a camera half-naked when I was Miley’s age. That wouldn’t go over well. Though legally designated an adult at age twenty, my mother wouldn’t hesitate to slap me anyway. She’d ask questions later. I rubbed my face to feel the heat of the encounter, but my cheek was cool from the dry winter air. And momma had died fourteen years ago.
“What are you buying grandfather?” Angie asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Nothing.” By the pensive look on Angie’s face, I understood she had difficulty processing my response. “What are you buying me?”
“Nothing.” Angie giggled. Her fingers moved on the keys of her cell phone at a rapid pace. I don’t remember ever typing that fast during my years as a legal assistant.
“Seriously. What am I getting?”
Angie’s hands dropped to her lap. “I don’t know. What do you want?”
“Hmm . . . Let me see. How about a pair of UGGs.”
“Really, grandma. I can’t see you in a pair of UGGs.”
“How about a pair of diamond earrings?”
“But grandfather buys you diamonds all the time.”
“Then why don’t you surprise me.”
“But I don’t know what to get you. You have everything.”
“My point exactly.” I smiled, proud that my point had finally come across.
“But I don’t have tickets to the concert.” Angie sported a sly grin. She defeated me at my own game.
“So, we’re back to that again?”
“Wouldn’t it be cool?”
“Cool? Really?”
“Think I might get them?”
“We need to come up with something more meaningful . . . less controversial. Your dad won’t be happy with me if I buy those tickets. And your grandfather would be appalled. Besides, I’m not comfortable with who Miley Cyrus is becoming. I mean— Can you imagine her walking into worship service after that wrecking ball photo?” Angie and I both laughed. “Think she’d convince everyone it was just a stunt to prove she’s all grown up?”
“It worked didn’t it?” Angie declared.
“So, you approve of her being half-naked in front everybody? Think that’s the way your daddy wants you to behave?”
“Daddy would have a fit, grandma. He’d probably drag me off stage and make momma ground me for a year.”
“Why do you suppose Miley’s daddy didn’t drag her off stage?”
“Duh! She’s an adult, grandma. All he can really do is be mad at her.”
“I wonder what God thinks about Miley’s behavior?”
After a moment, Angie moved her fingers across her cell phone. “He’s probably not happy.”
“So, why should you get tickets for Christmas? Can you run that by me again?” Angie remained focused on her phone. I got off the Broken Arrow Expressway and headed toward Fifth and Cheyenne. I had an idea.
“Grandma, where are we going? The Tea Room is on Harvard.”
“I know, but I thought since we’re this close to downtown, we might as well stop by the John 3:16 Mission.”
“The Mission? Why?”
“You’ll see.”
As we turned into the parking lot, homeless men and women stood huddled outside the complex. The cold biting wind forced them to bundle themselves in whatever they could find—ragged afghans, army jackets, soiled blankets.
I turned off the engine and got out. “You coming?”
“How long are we going to be here?” Angie sounded apprehensive. She looked over the crowd with a worried look on her face.
“Not long,” I promised. “I just have a few questions for the administrator. Come on. We have to make it to the Tea Room so we can eventually get to the movies on time. Hurry! It’s cold.”
Inside, the long hallway had a hint of Clorox in the air. The clean floors gleamed against the midday light streaming from an office window. At the end of the hall, someone stepped out of a room then disappeared around a corner. Another stranger walked toward us, left out the front door, and didn’t think to shut it. Fierce wind kept the door open for a moment, sweeping in leaves and an empty grocery bag, before it finally slammed shut.
“Good morning. How can I help you?” a woman asked from behind a glass window.
“Good morning. I was wondering if you guys needed any help this year.” I followed the grocery bag rolling down the hall, grabbed it, and returned to the window.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Not quite sure. My granddaughter and I were talking about Christmas and wondering what we should get everyone. I’m not in the shopping mood this year. Not up to spending money on last year’s repeats. Know what I mean?”
“I sure do. You’re wanting to feel useful this year? Do something meaningful for a change.”
I cocked my head. “Yes. Yes, we do. Don’t we?” I asked Angie as I turned and looked at her. She shrugged and frowned.
“Give me a moment. I need to check my books and see where we need the help. I’ll be right back.” The woman disappeared into another room.
“Grandma,” Angie whispered, “why are we doing this? Are we going to come here instead of doing Christmas at home?”
“Don’t you think that would be a great idea rather than spending so much money on stuff we don’t need?”
Angie folded her arms. “No,” she whispered. “How come we can’t write them a check and just leave?”
“Well, if we do that, then we’re not involved . . . not connected.”
“Exactly.”
“What if you and I were disconnected? How would that make you feel?”
“Here we go,” the woman said as she sat in her chair. “Why don’t the two of you come in and have a seat. Wait until you hear the door click before you open it.” The woman pressed a button, the door clicked, and we went inside her office.
“My goodness, you’re a pretty girl,” the woman told Angie as she removed the grocery bag from my hand and threw it in the trash.
“Thank you.” Angie grinned.
“And such long hair,” the woman said.
“She’s a perfect blend of her mother and father,” I told her.
“You’re not her mother?”
“Oh, no. I’m grandma.”
“Wow! You don’t look a day over thirty.”
“Ooh, I’m much older than that I assure you.”
“If they ever liquefy your genes, I want the first injection.” We laughed. “I have three openings to serve food on Christmas Day,” the woman said as she read from the list on her clipboard. “We expect 500 or more. It usually turns out to be an all-day event. I also need one person to wrap presents on December 23. And I need ten people to help distribute blankets, toiletries, and food under the bridges on December 24. Which one would you like to volunteer for?”
“All of them.”
“Grandma,” Angie whispered.
“Are you sure? We don’t expect anyone to give up their entire holiday. If you want to work just one event, that’s okay,” the woman said.
“Yes, we’re sure. We want to participate in all of those events,” I said.
“Are you coming with grandma?” the woman asked Angie.
Angie shook her head.
“Oh, I’ll convince her. She’ll be there,” I said, reassuring the woman. “I’m also bringing my husband and son with me.”
“Good. If you’ll fill out this form, I’ll give you a copy of the schedule so you don’t forget the dates, times, and where to be.”
“Do you have a restroom,” Angie asked.
“Yes, we do. Go through that door and make a right,” the woman said as she pointed across the room.
After we signed up, we drove to the Tea Room in silence. I didn’t want to speak first. I wanted to hear Angie’s raw reaction to our serving others on Christmas, but she remained quiet.
Her mother and my son had divorced in the middle of the pregnancy. Though her mother remarried—Henry is his name—Angie’s an only child and is accustomed to receiving everything on her Christmas list. She collects presents from four different families each year. She receives so much her classmates tease her. I knew if I wanted Angie to be less self-absorbed and more centered on God, we’d have to change.
The Tea Room had walls of exotic teas, teapots, teacups, tables for chess and checker games, books, and Christian music. Angie enjoyed sampling the teas until she found one she liked. As we sat and sipped tea, I pulled out a blue envelope and handed it to her.
“Because you have been a diligent student this semester and haven’t caused your mother any fuss, this is for the four As and two Bs. I’m proud of you. Grandfather is also proud of you.” I leaned forward and whispered, “He’s bragging. I don’t think there’s a person in his office who doesn’t know about your grades this semester.”
Angie laughed. “Thanks, grandma.”
“With that you can buy any of these teas or teapots,” I prodded. “Or maybe you can put the money in the bank and save it for your school trip to Germany this spring.”
Angie opened the envelope and counted the money, her grin getting wider by the second. “Oh, grandma, this is enough to buy the Miley Cyrus tickets I wanted.”
I was sick. Sixteen and old enough to make her own decisions, I felt tempted to scold her and explain the money wasn’t given so she could go see half-naked people on stage. Though I understood the greatest lessons learned were the ones experienced firsthand, I didn’t think Angie needed to experience this one. I worried about her choices. In my mind, she was still a baby, grandma’s little girl. Deep in my gut, I knew I had to let her grow up. I wished this time hadn’t come so soon.
In the end, I decided to keep quiet about the concert tickets. No lectures. No guilt trips. However, I had one last thing to add.
“If you insist on buying those tickets, I want you to remember something.”
“What?”
“Does everyone at school know you’re a Christian?”
“Yes, grandma. Why?”
“What reasons will you give them for going to that concert?” I paused, hoping the question would linger in her mind long after our day was over. “Look, why don’t we forget about the concert for a while. We need to get going so we aren’t late for the movie.”
After our granddaughter-grandmother outing, I brought Angie home and reminded her that she needed to be at my house at 9:00 a.m. on most of the days we were scheduled to work at the Mission. I promised myself I wouldn’t call her. I hoped she’d show up on her own.
Not knowing if she would actually participate in serving at the Mission, I prayed all day long for two days straight. To work off nervous energy, I baked pies, made cornbread dressing, cleaned, and gathered old clothes to bring to the Mission. Since winter had finally settled in Oklahoma, I concentrated on coats, hats, gloves, leggings, my husband’s old flannel shirts, old work boots, and any extra toiletries I had laying around. By the time I finished, I had two boxes packed and ready to go.
Christmas week, after our son, Michael, came home, we decided to go looking for a Christmas tree. As we backed out the driveway, Angie drove up. My husband, Barry, parked the car and we all got out.
“Hi daddy,” Angie said as she kissed her dad on the cheek.
“Seems we don’t see you until your dad comes in town,” Barry said.
“Grandfather, you’re just jealous.”
“A little.” Barry pressed his thumb and index fingers together to demonstrate. He had a habit of treating Angie as a five-year-old. He spoiled her by taking her shopping, making her do meaningless chores so he’d have an excuse to give her money, and he’d listen endlessly to her frantic dismay over losing one friend or boyfriend at the other. Angie’s teen years amused him, helped him pass the time. When she turned fourteen, I thought she’d ask him to stop babying her. She never did. With high school graduation two years away, I suspected he’d have the hardest time adjusting to her not being around anymore.
“Where are you guys going?” Angie asked.
“To pick out a tree,” Michael said.
“I’m coming.” She hopped in the back seat.
“I thought you’d be off with friends shopping for the holidays,” I said.
“I did that already. Pretty boring.”
“But you like shopping. What’s the matter?”
“It’s not the same this year.”
“I see.” I got in the car and occasionally peeped at Angie in the rearview mirror. For some reason, she didn’t seem as unhappy as she sounded. I was a little puzzled by that, but I decided not to question her. After Barry and Michael got in the car, we headed to the Christmas tree farm.
“Are you coming over and spending time with us for the holidays?” Michael asked. “Or will you be spending all your time with Henry’s folks?”
“I’m going to be here with you, dad. We’re planning to do Christmas at Henry’s parents’ on Sunday. I told mom and Henry I’ll be busy after that.”
“Doing what?” Michael asked.
“Daddy, you know.”
“I know what we’ll be doing,” Michael said as he pointed to me and his dad, “but what about you?”
“We’re all helping out at the Mission, daddy. You know that already.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I think it’s cool.”
“What about the Miley Cyrus concert?”
“Not going.”
“You’re not?” Michael asked, beaming with a mixture of surprise and pride.
“Nope.”
“Why not? Changed your mind?”
“Yeah.”
“What did you do with the money grandfather and grandma gave you?”
“Mom and I went to the thrift store and bought blankets. We also ran across this dollar store where we got canned soups on sale for fifty cents.” She tapped me on the shoulder. “Grandma, I didn’t know you could buy kids’ toys at the dollar store. I thought they just had food. I wanted to buy toys for the kids, but momma said the people at the Mission would probably appreciate food and warm clothes.”
“She’s right,” I said.
“We also bought toothpaste and tooth brushes. I wanted to buy scarves at the mall, but momma said they were too expensive. So, I’m making four scarves—two for the men and two for the women.”
“But, Angie, how are you going to get that done in the next three days?” I asked.
“They’re easy. I use these large knitting needles. I can get two done in one day. I have two already made. I picked up some cheap pillows too. And you ought to see the gloves I got for three dollars. I want to make hot chocolate and bring it with us when we hand out blankets under the bridge on Christmas Eve, but I don’t know how I’ll keep it warm. Wouldn’t it be nice to have marshmallows on top? Oh, and I saw a used microwave for $50. Momma said if I help her around the house for a week, she’d give me the $50 and I can buy the microwave.”
I turned and watched the excitement in my granddaughter’s face. “How did you find out they needed a microwave?”
“When I went to the restroom, I saw a lady fussing over the one in the kitchen. She was really mad. She kept hitting the start button, but the microwave wouldn’t work. We also saw these cute little umbrellas for kids . . . and cheap bars of soap . . . tennis shoes for four dollars . . . .”
I looked at Michael, then at my husband. We had tears in our eyes. I had to turn away before I lost control. In that moment, I knew I needn’t worry about Angie’s ability to make right choices in her life. God had everything under control.
“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard. I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?”
Matthews 21:28-31
AS ORIGINALLY POSTED FOR “RUBY FOR WOMEN” MAGAZINE at http://rubyforwomen.com. Also see my Thanksgiving story on this same website.
A Fictional Short Story by Donna B. Comeaux
Freelance Writer, Author, Poet
December 6, 2013
Merry Christmas Everyone!
Resolutions
There’s something forgiving about beginnings. After we’ve spent months, sometimes years, rehashing regrets and sins committed against us, at some point we want to start over, to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.
As this year comes to an end, at least half of the nation will contemplate setting new goals. In order to successfully do that, we must deal with causes of failures. If we don’t, we face the possibility of repeating our mistakes. That leads to discouragement, regret, and more poor choices.
What if we could break the cycle of failure? What if we could accomplish all that we set out to do?
Instead of beginning a new year with resolutions we know in our gut we won’t keep, why not begin with a renewed commitment to involve God in all we do. I don’t mean the kind of commitment attached to a John 3:16 Mission (although that’s a noble task), or a determination to read the bible in a year (no offense to Mitch or our elders), or tying ourselves to an exercise program. Those things are good, but most of us fail at them.
I’m referring to a commitment where we involve Him in everything we do. Period. If I want to take a shower, I ask Him to help me relax and to transform my attitude for the rest of the day. If I want to sit and relax in front of the television set, I ask Him to help me make a better choice in regard to what I watch. If my telephone rings, I ask Him to please help me be courteous and attentive, no matter who is on the other end of the line. And if I want to finish the curtains in the dining room (or whatever project you or I started months ago), I ask Him to give me the enthusiasm and stamina needed to finish them.
If it hasn’t occurred to you, this takes pressure off your daily life and places it at the altar of our Father. We know we need Him every hour, but sometimes we don’t live as if we believe it. Often, we don’t stop and ask God what He thinks about our decisions. We just go about our lives fumbling in the dark assured by some osmosis that our goals will be accomplished. Then we end up frustrated when our goals aren’t met.
Why?
We never involved Him in our daily living. We never bent our knees and gave Him our worries. We never asked for the strength to get on a treadmill, or if we should travel to Germany for that mission trip, or talk to a co-worker who doesn’t dress appropriately, or tell a sister or brother they hurt our feelings. We just wake up and take for granted that what we want will be done, or that past hurt feelings will take care of themselves.
We forget God cares about every aspect of our lives. We forget He made not only the spiritual side of us, but the emotional, mental, and physical, too. He placed within us a heart and mind to serve Him. It is written:
“18 Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered. 20 When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked. 21 Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. 22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” ─ Matthew 21:18-22
When was the last time you consulted God concerning every aspect of your life, from an ingrown toenail to a pick-up game of basketball?
If we want to succeed in the coming year, we must come to Him with an open heart, and a believing mind and spirit, and a faith without doubt. Prayers can be prayed anywhere at any time. Calling on Him is only a breath away.
Here is my challenge to you.
Use your computer to keep track of your journey this year. At the end of the year when you look back, I anticipate you will be amazed how far God has taken you, both in spiritual growth and personal goals. I suspect your achievements will far outreach any you’ve ever endeavored. I’m not necessarily looking for how long you were able to keep up your exercise routine, or if you ran a marathon. The aim of the challenge is for you to seek and involve God in whatever you determine to do. If your goal is to run a marathon, then so be it. However, if you aim to run a marathon and find God has somehow taken you on a deeper spiritual journey, how amazing would that be?
Let’s end this year with a 31-day prayer for the coming year. Begin praying each day in December 2013 for God to give you a believing spirit (Oh, God, help our unbelief), strength, remembrance, and the desire to seek Him for all that you need and set out to do next year.
Then at the end of next year (December 1, 2014, to be precise), let’s compare notes of our twelve-month journey. If He is in agreement, I’ll see you this time next year.
Merry Christmas! And a Happy and Spiritual New Year!!!
Sodom and Gomorrah
Sodom and Gomorrah[1] were wealthy communities located in the Dead Sea region. Among their riches was an abundance of bitumen, water, and fertile soil.
Bitumen to them is what oil is to the United States. It’s a black or brown oily substance, flammable, gelatinous, tar-like, and contains a waterproofing agent. Just as there are many derivatives from oil (petroleum jelly, tar, gasoline, paraffin wax, fuel oil, Kerosene, and jet fuel, to name a few), there are just as many derivatives from bitumen. If you need a visual for bitumen, think “asphalt.” They used it on rooftops as a water-repellant and burned it at the end of poles to light the night. Noah’s descendants used it between mud bricks when they built the Tower of Babel.
Bitumen is one of many natural resources that turned Sodom and Gomorrah into a rich community. Their riches were so great that neighboring kingdoms often attacked them and took away portions of their wealth and food. (Genesis 14:11) But apparently Sodom and Gomorrah didn’t encounter enough strife from these kingdoms to make them seek God’s help or His favor. God told Abraham:
“The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.” —Genesis 18:20-21
What was Sodom’s and Gomorrah’s sin against God?
In my quest to answer this question, I encountered a lot of debate regarding many scholars’ inability to definitively prove what sin was committed. I don’t believe the answer is hard to find. I found eight (8) of them in the Old Testament, and several from the teachings of Jesus.
Sins No. 1 and 2: Lack of Hospitality and Stubbornness.
“If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.” —Matthew 10:14
Anytime Jesus uses the Old Testament as a point of reference, it always relates to the message He’s conveying to His audience. Here, He is talking to the disciples and warning them not to waste time with those who refuse to listen and obey. Then he goes on to compare these hardheaded people with Sodom and Gomorrah. There would be no need to make such comparisons if the subjects didn’t have something in common.
Some believe the lack of hospitality was so great among these people that they treated strangers rudely, to the point of disfiguring some and casting out others. I ran across one such incident in my reading that mentioned that these two communities would give a bed to a stranger, but if he were too short, they would stretch out his body to make it fit; if he were too long, they’d cut off his legs. Since this account is not the crucial point of this editorial, I did not spend time researching to prove or disprove this particular matter. However, to think a people would be this inhospitable is beyond me.
Sins No. 3, 4 and 5: Sexual Immorality, Lying, and Adultery.
“They called to Lot, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.’” —Genesis 19:5
“And among the prophets of Jerusalem I have seen something horrible: They commit adultery and live a lie. They strengthen the hands of evildoers, so that no one turns from his wickedness. They are all like Sodom to me, the people of Jerusalem are like Gomorrah.” —Jeremiah 23:14
The New International Version (NIV) uses the words “sex with them” and the King James Version (KJV) uses the word “know them.” No matter how we interpret these words, you get the idea these people didn’t want to sit and have supper with these men (angels). Their intentions weren’t good. If you read further:
“Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, ‘No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.’” —Genesis 19:6-8
“‘Get out of our way,’ they replied.” —Genesis 19:9
For Lot to offer his daughters as an appeasement for the insatiable appetite of these men, leads me to conclude one of their sins included sexual misconduct.
Also, look at the following:
“In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.” —Jude 1:7
Apart from the obvious, there’s something very interesting here that I must point out. Although Sodom and Gomorrah are mentioned many times in the bible, Jude makes it clear they weren’t the only cities destroyed. As I read this scripture again, I can’t ignore what Jude says “. . . Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns. . . .”
Archaeologists have found many sites with charred remains all over the southern portions of the Dead Sea. They have a difficult time deciphering which sites are truly Sodom and Gomorrah.
In addition, Sodom, Gomorrah, and the surrounding towns had problems with adultery and lying.
Sins No. 6, 7 and 8: Arrogance, Unkindness, and Haughtiness.
“Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore, I did away with them as you have seen.” —Ezekiel 16:49-50
How many times have we been unkind to those providing service, or our neighbors? Listen to God as He speaks through Paul:
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” —Romans 12:9-13
“On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” —Romans 12:20-21
Born out of Sodom’s and Gomorrah’s wealth was the spirit of arrogance, which bred haughtiness, which bred unkindness. To point the finger at wealthy Americans who haven’t been as generous as they should isn’t going far enough. People of all economic status share these shortcomings.
It stems from the belief that everything we have and worked for is derived from our own hands. But what is success, money, or power apart from God?
Sodom and Gomorrah firmly believed their prosperity came by way of their own hands. From their vantage point, there was no need to offer thanksgiving to God. He must have been insulted! According to Ezekiel 16:49-50, out of their abundance, they didn’t share any of it. Haughty means: arrogant; to be proud in a manner that shows disdain for others. When you feel this level of pride, you don’t treat others kindly—they are beneath you.
If you look at these sins collectively, you can understand why God was so angry with Sodom, Gomorrah, and the surrounding towns. Ungratefulness is an abomination and leads to spiritual death.
Let us not get so caught up that we don’t heed to the righteous living to which God calls us.
Donna B. Comeaux
Freelance Writer, Author, Poet
November 1, 2013
[1] Israel – A History of Sodom and Gomorrah:
http://www.israel-a-history-of.com/sodom-and-gomorrah.html
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