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Fighting That Six-Inch War – The Long Grey Line
View of West Point from across the Hudson River
Chris Pestel is a 2003 graduate from the United States Military Academy at West Point. He has become a storyteller and photographer. One of the pieces he recently wrote is entitled “To Fight & Die For That Inch.” In his writings, Chris reveals the true meaning behind the fight for an inch of turf. I could spell it out for you here, reveal the essence of it all, and, no doubt, you’d probably guess the truth Chris so poignantly reveals. But what you don’t know are the people behind this truth. You don’t know their struggles. You don’t know how important it is to win their game of tug and war. You don’t know the pain of so many losses . . . on a public field of play . . . or their fight to keep their heads high in the midst of defeat. You don’t know the depth of responsibility placed on their shoulders. You haven’t seen their faces or felt their pain.
Picture of 2003 Army Football Players on Graduation Day
Here is your chance.
If you’ll indulge in this pictorial and narrative account of a team’s fight for perseverance, you’ll begin to clearly see the truth you may already know. That life can’t be measured by mere wins and losses. Life involves more . . . Well, why don’t you let Chris Pestel tell you what life is really about by clicking or pasting this link in your browser: https://medium.com/@chrisWpestel/to-fight-die-for-that-inch-1284c1e25d88
After reading this and gazing at these amazing photographs, can you really come up with a valid excuse “not” to finish your task at hand? I can’t. These pictures leave no room for me to have a tantrum and throw in the towel. No one has ever asked me to place myself on the Long Grey Line and play a six-inch war game on a public stage. All in the face of a losing season year after year. On top of all that, I find it appalling that anyone would expect me to remain silent and loyal when asked to put on a recognizable uniform and walk among millions, proud. And if that isn’t enough: “While you’re at it soldier, strap on a gun and headgear and march to the front line.”
2003 Corps of Cadets
Makes me think twice about throwing another pity party. After reading this, I’d rather strap on another breatplate of determination and press toward my goals. My weapons of choice? God and a positive attitude.
Tell me something–are you ready to gear up and fight failure? I am. Let’s get after it! Today! No more procrastination.
See you at the end of the fight. If I get there before you, I’ll ready the celebration banquet and save a place for you.
I see balloons flying overhead. 2015 is already starting out to be a prosperous year. We’ve got plenty of reasons for an early celebration. I’m expecting a victory!!
GO ARMY! BEAT NAVY!
Donna B. Comeaux
Freelance Writer, Poet, Author
November Devotional – Can I Do This?
When was the last time you did what you really wanted? And when you tried, how often did you foul it up before you finally gave up on the idea? As you sat in the dark and sulked in sorrow trying to pacify your decision to quit, did you calculate the man-hours spent chasing your dream? The reality of it all is enough to send anyone into a deep depression. Lawrence Block(1) once said, “If you want to write fiction, the best thing you can do is take two aspirins, lie down in a dark room, and wait for the feeling to pass.”
I’m sure you’ve felt that way about your dreams.
Sometimes when failures knock me to my knees, I think of Michael Jordan or Walt Disney. Neither had the natural ability to be successful at what they did. Walt Disney(2) threw hundreds of drawings in the trash before one was a success(3). At one point, he was told his idea for a cartoon character wouldn’t work because “a giant mouse on the screen would terrify women.” How silly.
Michael Jordan(4) had one obstacle after another. He lost almost 300 games, missed over 9,000 shots, and 26 times was given the ball to take the game-winning shot and MISSED.
Michael and Walt’s early days are considered failed attempts at success. Who would sit back and watch a young Jordan miss shot after shot then suggest he might one day be one of the greatest players to ever play the game? It’s ludicrous for Walt Disney to think he’d bring moveable cartoons to the big screen? Can you imagine the ridicule? Can you see the bankers cringe at the idea of extending him another loan? For a cartoon character?
With something to prove, these men managed to rise above(5) the mockery and stay focused, using their failures as motivation.
At times I wanted to throw in the towel and turn away from my dream to become a writer. I went through the motions of disconnecting my computer, cleaning my office, and placing every reference book I owned in the trash, only to put them back on the shelf—just in case.
All sorts of things got in my way—work, family issues, and the many voices convincing me I should pay someone to help me. I listened to suggestions to read one website after another so I’d better learn the art of writing. I don’t condemn efforts to help me. Matter of fact, I learned a great deal. But somewhere along the way, I committed a horrible sin. I convinced myself others were far superior and there was no way I’d measure up to their ability to create literary works of art.
No one told me to take critiques in stride or to ignore those who just didn’t get it. No one told me that being a writer was a subjective craft. That one person would look at a scene and immerse themselves in it and feel exactly what was going on, while others would pick the scene apart and find a hundred and one things wrong with it—from the number of times I used “that” to the number of times I split a paragraph in the wrong place.
To keep myself humble, I took everyone’s opinion/critique as gospel and whittled away at my ability to be creative. Before I knew it, my self-confidence was gone. I later realized I didn’t know how to sift through the noise and keep my own voice. In short, I wanted to please everyone—never mind the fact I was the storyteller and could literally do whatever I pleased with my book. One day, amid all my confusion, I asked myself if I could possibly move forward and, if so, how.
There will be days when you can’t write a word. There will even be times when after a bad critique you can’t get out of the dugout and move past your hurt feelings to finish your edits or write fresh material. It’s assured, though, unless you plant butt-in-chair and keep it there, failure will tap you on the shoulder right before it blows a hole in your world.
Not long ago, someone did just that. A lady in my critique group sent me an e-mail and said she’d be happy to critique the first chapter of my family saga. She was kind, professional, and sent me her credentials as assurance of her qualifications. I felt honored this wonderful person would share her time with me. In fact, I was a little giddy about the whole idea and could hardly sleep that night.
I wish I had.
The next day unnerved me. There wasn’t a sentence in the first paragraph that wasn’t ripped apart. Though most of her corrections were right on, she pounded my self-esteem until it resembled sawdust, making me wonder why I had the audacity to think I could write. Needless to say, I decided, “That’s it. I quit.” My husband spent countless hours talking me out of it. Still, my drive was gone, my identity shattered.
To my surprise, within three or four days, I replaced the desire to quit with a need to weed through the painful remarks and validate her critique. I highlighted anything meaningful and I ditched the rest.
The lesson here?
If you think for one minute you can withstand an honest critique, think again. My advice: before you read a critique, think of the worst day in your life then the critique won’t seem so bad. If you still can’t handle it, treat yourself to a day spa, go see a romantic movie, then go home and prop your feet up, ’cause you’re done.
Writing is a very personal experience. Yet, it becomes everyone’s business if you plan to deliver your writing to the masses. It’s not okay to waste people’s time with writing you’ve hammered out in an hour without spending twice as much time proofing it. Neither is it fair to ask a consumer to spend $7.99 to $19.99 for a book that your friends approved. Your readers deserve the best product you can produce. That means you’ll have to go the extra mile to have it proofread and edited. More importantly, you are not being fair to you if you don’t develop a passion for writing (or for anything you decide to do).
Writing should keep you up at night. It’s a common occurrence for me to tiptoe in the dark to my computer and finish an idea swirling around in my head. I’m amazed when I look up three hours later and notice so much time has passed. I can’t tell you the number of times I have tossed and turned in my bed, tiring myself out, before finally getting up to write.
To be honest, I’d rather write than eat. I absolutely hate having to stop in the middle of a scene and go to the bathroom or pause to eat lunch. I’ve skipped more meals than I can count (and still haven’t lost a pound of cellulite) and have gnawed on stale, crusted bread just so I can keep writing and not break my concentration.
For me, there’s something fascinating about the English language that dares me to rearrange every sentence I lay my eyes on. I can’t sit through a scrabble game without making a mental note of an unfamiliar word so I can later look it up in the dictionary. I crave to create words that seem to leap off the page, pound with rhythm, whip through the air, lull you to sleep or sing as soft as the sound of hummingbird’s wings. It’s nice when I dare my readers to love villains and hate heroes.
To accomplish this, I must first believe in myself. I must endeavor to believe that beyond all the dangling modifiers, misused words, run-on sentences, needless adjectives, and wordy sentences (like this one), there’s a story brewing. The healing for poorly written manuscripts are reading and writing, and more writing and reading. Sure, I can spend $199 for an online class. Not a thing wrong with it if you have the cash. Nothing wrong with taking a creative writing course at your community college either. But I assure you, nothing will cure what ails a writer than more reading and writing.
Maybe you don’t want to be a writer. Is something else gnawing at you? How long have you put off teaching that Sunday School class? Or put off starting a ladies group? For the men out there, maybe you’ve been dying to spearhead a men’s retreat. I say, GO FOR IT!!
But beware.
You will have all types of cheerleaders: those who will say you can’t and those who will say you can. One thing is certain. None of those voices really matter except your own. What good is it if someone says you can, but buzzing inside your head is: “I really can’t do this. I don’t have the expertise.” Those excuses merely explain who you are—a dear soul with a low self-esteem. Are you willing to allow these excuses to lock you in?
Writing is one of the hardest professions in the world, yet, millions have become successful at it. And here are two concrete truths: no two people have the same writing ability, and not all “published” writers write well.
Regardless, you must do as good writers do. Put a new spin on your old idea and make asserted efforts to come up with fresh ideas (good luck with this one). In addition, you must exercise discipline. It’s an absolute necessity that you plant butt-in-chair, fail a half dozen times, throw things, lose sleep, and perhaps go broke to transform your dreams into reality.
Unless you have a physical handicap keeping you from implementing these things, there is absolutely nothing standing in your way to become a writer, a Sunday School teacher, a camp leader, or kick off your first men’s retreat.
So, plant your butt-in-chair and join me on this stressful journey to success. Take whatever idea you have and hammer away at it until you have accomplished every single thing imaginable. There will be roadblocks, so, don’t pretend they aren’t coming. Prepare for them. Think of yourself as abnormal if roadblocks don’t emerge. Nevertheless, determine to move forward through whatever adversity comes your way.
You can do this. So can I. This document proves my success. Show the world yours.
Donna B. Comeaux
Freelance Writer, Poet, Novelist
http://www.awriterfirst.wordpress.com
http://www.rubyforwomen.com
Other writings by Donna can be found in the Archive section of Ruby for Women Magazine and Hope-Full Living, a daily devotional. She has an upcoming novel due for release online through Smashwords Publishing in January 2015. She has also begun work on a religious series entitled “Impact.” Impact will explore the many ways our decisions affect those around us and many throughout the world.
(1) Writing the Novel from Plot to Print by Lawrence Block, Writer’s Digest Books, 1983. http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/39217-writing-the-novel-from-plot-to-print
(2) Bharatbhasa Free Articles. http://bharatbhasha.net/marketing.php/241
(3) The Life and Times of Walt Disney.
https://www.earlymoments.com/disney/The-Life-and-Times-of-Walt-Disney/
(4) Business Insider: Thomas Edison and Michael Jordan were Failures.
http://www.businessinsider.com/thomas-edison-and-michael-jordan-were-failures-2010-9
(5) Bio.True Story: Michael Jordan.
http://www.biography.com/people/michael-jordan-9358066?page=3
Success is a “Choice” Away
It amazes me how the most successful people are both terrorized and motivated by their past. And it dumbfounds me that the rest of us are complacent with our mundane life and have no desire to change it.
During the last few months, I’ve come across such people. I’ve read snippets of life stories of film director, screenwriter, actor, producer, and singer Kelsey Grammer; actor Charlie Sheen; actor Robert Downey, Jr.; British film director and screenwriter Steve McQueen; and film director and producer Lee Daniels, most of whom have a painful past.
A terrible childhood causes you to internalize your pain, act out in ways you find hard to understand, or puts you on a path of self-destruction. For Kelsey Grammer, he married four (4) times. For Charlie Sheen and Robert Downey, Jr., they used and abused drugs. And for Lee Daniels, meth was his choice for desensitization.
You might say their pain humanized them, pulling them in modicum degrees from their celebrity status. Though that is true, there’s a remarkable wrinkle in the faces of these people that we tend to overlook, a wrinkle that’s a combative foe and a warm companion, possessing a distinctive Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde persona. More amazing is their ability to maneuver around this persona, even when they don’t think they’re moving at all.
Somehow, Kelsey Grammer(1) can be stoned out of his mind, whether it’s from cocaine or alcohol, and the minute he steps on a set, like a flip of a switch, he proves to be an erudite with an extraordinary ability to transform into Dr. Frasier Crane at the mere sound of “action.” Lee Daniels’ movie Monster’s Ball won him high acclaim as he directed Halle Barry to an Academy Award performance. During the Academy Award ceremony, he sat at home sulked in self-pity and went on a meth-high. Then he went on to direct the 2013 movie The Butler. And oooh, didn’t that movie take me back. He portrayed the 1960s in superb fashion. Thanks, Lee!
Occasionally, some people get confused and tangled in their maze of conflict, mistaking the past for the present; twisting reality, borrowing flurries of fantasy to get through the moment. Sometimes they find themselves in a straightjacket or tied to a bed. Too often the pain isn’t personified so clearly; the change isn’t so obvious, so drastic. For the most part, many retreat and hide away, unleashing their troubles behind the walls of their home, lashing out at their wives, husbands, and children, indulging in self-pity and self-doubt, dousing themselves in self-induced comas aided by cocaine, meth, heroine, alcohol, and eating disorders.
Sounds too much like fiction?
Lee Daniels’ story(2) bothers me most. Not because he’s gay. Not because he has a belief system different from mine. But rather, like many of us, he couldn’t see. After being beat with an extension cord for exploring his feminine side by wearing his mother’s pumps, his father threw his forty-two pound frame into a dumpster. Daniels came out of that dumpster loathing his father. Who wouldn’t? God warns fathers not to exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4). But Lee Daniels, whether he realizes it or not, came out of that dumpster with something he hadn’t counted on—determination, and enough hate for himself to set off an atomic bomb. He came out of that can with a fire lit under his behind. He was mad and needed a target. A forty-two pound kid doesn’t sit around scheming to retaliate against his father. He’s got sense enough to know he’d lose that battle every single time. So, what is he to do with all that built-up anger? What does he do when he’s not accepted by his peers? When he’s bullied by school children?
People have a tendency to point the anger at themselves, rarely toward the person inflicting the pain. The twisted side of this is that pain sometimes fuels us in positive ways, driving us beyond the dream stages of success to the very pinnacle of it. When
you untwist this debacle, you find that, like Lee Daniels, you can’t see the
success you’ve created. It’s buried too deep in loud voices of “you dummy . . .”; “you worthless piece of . . . “; “and what made you want to become a writer?”
Lee Daniels’ anger drove him to the farthest corner of a school room where he honed the craft of filmmaking like none other and became a success. But he left something behind. The past. It always seemed to lurk in the fog, one step behind him, chasing him, haunting him, screaming at him that he was worthless cow dung, unable to keep a fire going on the warmest winter night.
Isn’t that’s why he sat home on the day of the Oscars stoned on meth? Why wasn’t he at the Vanity Fair after-party celebrating his film’s success? Halle Barry had just won the Best Actress Award for Monster’s Ball—the first African-American female actor in years—a film which Lee Daniels directed. Why wasn’t he happy?
The same reason we fail at our goals each year. The same reason we haven’t done a thing we intended within the last five or ten years. The same reason we have yet to taste the sweetness of a victory. We don’t believe. We’re lazy. And we’ve grown accustom to failure. It’s a part of our DNA now. Whenever we do conjure enough strength to believe in something, it’s the wrong voice we’re drawn to because it’s the loudest sounding in our ears.
Lee Daniels kept that tape recording of his father’s nasty words playing over and over in his mind until he had it memorized. With perfect understanding, he knew the precise moment he should play it again. Oscar night was his night for a rendition. Why? You see, there’s no way this little guy could grow up to be somebody. If daddy said he was a worthless patch of dung, then he was. No way he’d ever be successful. Too many odds against him—an African-American male pursuing a profession dominated by white America.
There lies part of another problem. Too much is under the blanket of prejudice. We are all prejudice. Yes. I said it! We are prejudice. For one reason or another, we are. I don’t like your long thick hair, cause I don’t have enough of my own. I don’t like those crazy things you do with your hair, cause mine is too fine. I’m African-American. I can’t ignore the divide in this country, even if I tried. It’s in schools, in hospitals, in churches. There are days when I think we are no further along today than we were in 1841. Then I think again and realize my perspective on life is closely intertwined with my success. I can’t afford to hold on or blame everything on the color of my skin. You might. I won’t.
The heart of the issue here isn’t to have a flawless life or expect perfection from those around us. There’s no such thing as life without pain. Whether you’re White or Black, Asian or Mexican, if it wasn’t the color of your skin that was at issue, it’d be something else, and usually is. Maybe they hate your lack of organizational skills or your endless, meaningless chatter. Maybe they resent your promotion, or your ability to transform an idea into an award-winning bestseller. Still, there comes a time when we have to look at the recordings embedded in our minds and recognize good from bad, right and wrong, bad people from good people. We have to stand against our adversities and say out loud “You have no more power over me. This is my life. I’m running this. You can’t intimidate me anymore.”
We must also take time to look at our success (because no one is a complete failure), something Lee Daniels chose to ignore for a time. How can such talent be housed in such a wretched man? It can’t be because the truth is he isn’t wretched at all. He’s flesh and blood—no worse than you, no worse than me, and let me remind you—no better either. His poor father was wrong to treat him so harshly. Instead of beating Lee, he should have taken him fishing, taught him how to put a roof on a house, taken him to a baseball game, or each summer taken him on a trip across America to explore different cities.
Few of us can say we had a perfect childhood. Such is life.
We dream, set goals, and we fail, having no idea what success feels like. Too often we measure success by our material wealth. That’s too bad because I don’t have nearly the wealth of an Angelina Jolie or Sandra Bullock, but I still consider myself rich, successful, powerful, and highly motivated. Go figure!
I can’t help but wonder, though, what is it that keeps us from reaching our goals? Money? Bad parents? Your job? Your spouse? A terrible past? Lack of education? It’s all excuses. Too afraid to move forward? Who wouldn’t be with the past you and I had? But here’s the beautiful part about all this: If messed up people like Robert Downey, Jr. (and let’s hope his life is truly on the mends), Lee Daniels, and Kelsey Grammer can make it, why can’t we?
There is talent in each of us that goes untapped year after year, day after day. What are you waiting for? The right time? Better work hours? The beauty of life lies in the journey. Though the journey has many pitfalls, twists, and turns, don’t forfeit the journey by waiting for better work hours, a higher salary, better parenting, or apologies from dead people.
Kelsey Grammer, Lee Daniels, and Robert Downey, Jr., I’m sure, could make a movie about themselves and not come close to scratching the surface of their pain. But when reading snippets of their lives on the internet, you can relate to it, because, after all, their pain parallels with your own, and with mine. It’s not flawless lives that breed success. It’s the ability to rise above the fray that sets you apart. It’s what you do with your life in spite of what you’ve been through that determines your future.
Whether you’ve been beaten, stabbed, abandoned, left for dead, stolen from, lost a child, lost a spouse, been overworked, taken on children not your own, or feel crappy and alone, you can rise above and experience success. There isn’t a job in the world that works you so many hours that you can’t spend one hour a day fulfilling your dream. There’s not a chaotic house on this planet that is so disruptive that you can’t steal an hour to devise a plan for success. There aren’t enough mean people in the world to make you believe you can’t succeed. Choices come from within. Every tape recording embedded in us can be taped over. You can choose to plant a seed of hope within your soul. You can choose to read positive messages, be around positive people, and make better choices.
The danger? Being in a hurry. Thinking that success will fall from the sky one of these sweet mornings is a quick way to not only discourage you, but also make you miserable.
Where you lack ambition and drive, dream big, dream the unimaginable. Need purpose and real happiness? Give to those who can’t repay you. Stuck in a rut and having a hard time getting out of your mundane routine? Turn your day upside down and do every single thing differently. Don’t do a thing the same way again. And keep stirring your life up until you feel invigorated, until you find out what works for you. Is your horrible past keeping you up at night? Get to your computer, or grab pencil and paper and write down all the things you ever wanted to do in life. Choose ten. Get started on five of them. Now. Tonight. No money? Offer to do something for someone, asking for something you need in return.
Life is filled with sad stories. Why shouldn’t we use them to motivate us toward success? Is your story any different from Lee Daniels’? Kelsey Grammer? Charlie Sheen? Whatever your story, there’s a thin membrane between the words of life and the words of death. It’s a choice. Choose life. Choose success. Make your life different by disrupting your routine. Get out of your rut. Devise a plan, mess it up, devise another, and another, until it feels right.
Need a pity party? Read about Lee Daniels, Kelsey Grammer, Charlie Sheen. Whatever you do, don’t create a pity party for yourself. These guys have enough drama to keep us motivated for a lifetime. Dry your eyes. Get to work. Stay focused. Success is ahead of you. Grab hold of it!
If you don’t remember another word I’ve said, remember this: Success doesn’t avoid you. You avoid success. Stop running from it. Choose to embrace it!
(1) Kelsey Grammer: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_Kelsey_Grammar
(2) Lee Daniels’ story: http://www.out.com/out-exclusives/out100-2013/2013/11/13/out100-lee-daniels
Donna B. Comeaux
Freelance Writer, Poet, Author
January 7, 2014
A Writer’s Encouraging Words – Use Failure to Motivate You
When was the last time you did what you really wanted to do? And when you tried, how often did you foul it up before you finally gave up on the idea? As you sat in the dark and sulked in your sorrow, trying to pacify your decision to quit, did you meticulously calculate the man-hours spent chasing this dream? The reality of it all is enough to send anyone into a deep depression. Maybe that’s why Lawrence Block once said “If you want to write fiction, the best thing you can do is take two aspirins, lie down in a dark room, and wait for the feeling to pass.”
Sometimes I think of Michael Jordan or Walt Disney when failures knock me to my knees. Neither of these men had the natural ability to be successful at what they did. Walt Disney threw hundreds of drawings in the trash before one was a success. At one point, he was told his idea for a cartoon character wouldn’t work because “a giant mouse on the screen would terrify women.” Michael Jordan had one obstacle after another. He lost almost 300 games, missed over 9,000 shots, and 26 times he was given the ball to take the game winning shot and MISSED.
Michael’s and Walt’s early days are considered failed attempts at success. Who would sit back and watch a young Jordan miss shot after shot and suggest he might one day be one of the greatest players to ever play the game? How many of us would laugh at Walt Disney as he poured over his ideas to bring moveable cartoons to the big screen? Can you imagine the ridicule? Can you see the bankers cringe at the idea of extending him another loan? For a cartoon character? With something to prove, these men managed to rise above the mockery and stay focused, using their failures as motivation.
At times I wanted to throw in the towel and turn away from my dream to become a writer. I went through the motions of disconnecting my computer, cleaning my office, and placing every reference book I owned in the trash, only to put them back on the shelf—just in case.
All sorts of things got in my way—work, family issues, and the many voices convincing me I should pay someone to help me. I listened to suggestions to read one website after another so I could better learn the art of writing. I don’t condemn efforts to help me. Matter of fact, I learned a great deal. But somewhere along the way, I committed a horrible sin. I convinced myself others were far superior and there was no way I could measure up to their beautiful ability to create a literary work of art.
No one told me to take critiques in stride or to ignore those who just didn’t get it. No one told me that being a writer was a subjective craft. That one person would look at a scene and immerse themselves in it and feel exactly what was going on, while others would pick the scene apart and find a hundred and one things wrong with it—from the number of times I used “that” to the number of times I split a paragraph in the wrong place.
To keep myself humble, I took everyone’s opinion/critique as gospel and whittled away at my ability to be creative. Before I knew it, my self-confidence was gone. I later realized I didn’t know how to sift through the noise and keep my own voice. In short, I wanted to please everyone—never mind the fact that I was the storyteller and I could literally do whatever I pleased with my book. One day, amidst my confusion, I asked myself if I could possibly move forward and, if so, how.
There will be days when you can’t write a word. There will even be times when after a bad critique you can’t get out of the dugout and move past your hurt feelings to finish your edits or write fresh material. It’s assured, though, unless you plant butt-in-chair and keep it there, failure will tap you on the shoulder right before it blows a hole in your world.
Not long ago, someone did just that. A lady in my critique group sent me an e-mail and said she’d be happy to critique the first chapter of my family saga. She was kind, professional and sent me her credentials as assurance of her qualifications. I felt honored this wonderful person would share her time with me. In fact, I was a little giddy about the whole idea and could hardly sleep that night. I wish I had.
The next day was unnerving. There wasn’t a sentence in the first paragraph that wasn’t ripped apart. Though most of her corrections were right on, she pounded my self-esteem until it resembled sawdust, making me wonder why I had the audacity to think I could write. Needless to say, I decided, “That’s it. I quit.” Later my husband talked me out of it. Still, my drive was gone, my identity shattered.
To my surprise, within three or four days, I replaced the desire to quit with a need to weed through the painful remarks and validate her critique. I highlighted anything meaningful and I ditched the rest. The lesson here? If you think for one minute you can withstand an honest critique, think again. My advice: before you read a critique, think of the worst day in your life then the critique won’t seem so bad. If you still can’t handle it, treat yourself to a day spa, go see a romantic movie, then go home and prop your feet up, ’cause you’re done.
Writing is a very personal experience. Yet, it becomes everyone’s business if you plan to deliver your writing to the masses. It’s not okay to waste people’s time with writing you’ve hammered out in an hour without spending twice as much time proofing it. Neither is it fair to ask a consumer to spend $7.99 to $19.99 for a book that your friends approved. Your readers deserve the best product you can produce. That means you’ll have to go the extra mile to have it proofread and edited. More importantly, you are not being fair to you if you don’t develop a passion for writing (or for anything you decide to do).
Writing should keep you up at night. It’s a common occurrence for me to tiptoe in the dark to my computer and finish an idea swirling around in my head. I’m amazed when I look up three hours later and notice so much time has passed. I can’t tell you the number of times I have tossed and turned in my bed, tiring myself out, before finally getting up to write.
To be honest, I’d rather write than eat. I absolutely hate having to stop in the middle of a scene and go to the bathroom or pause to eat lunch. I’ve skipped more meals than I can count (and still haven’t lost a pound of cellulite) and have gnawed on stale, crusted bread just so I can keep writing and not break my concentration.
For me, there’s something fascinating about the English language that dares me to rearrange every sentence I lay my eyes on. I can’t sit through a scrabble game without making a mental note of an unfamiliar word so I can later look it up in the dictionary. I crave to create words that seem to leap off the page, pound with rhythm, whip through the air, lull you to sleep or sing as soft as the sound of hummingbird’s wings. It’s nice when I dare my readers to love villains, hate heroes, and feel the fire between two lovers.
To accomplish this, I must first believe in myself. I must endeavor to believe that beyond all the dangling modifiers, misused words, run-on sentences, needless adjectives, and wordy sentences (like this one), there’s a story brewing. The healing for poorly written manuscripts are reading and writing, and more writing and reading. Sure, I can spend $199 for an online class. Not a thing wrong with it if you have the cash. Nothing wrong with taking a creative writing course at your community college either. But I assure you, nothing will cure what ails a writer, but writing and reading, and reading and writing.
Maybe you don’t want to be a writer. Maybe you want to be something else. Go for it! But beware. You will have all types of cheerleaders: those who will say you can’t and those who will say you can; those who will say it’s impossible and those who will say reach for the stars. You can be certain none of those voices really matter except your own. What good is it if someone says you can, but buzzing inside your head is “I really can’t do this. I don’t have the skills. It will take too long. I don’t have the education.” Those excuses merely explain who you are—a dear soul with a low self-esteem. Are you willing to allow the excuses to lock you in?
Writing is one of the hardest professions in the world, yet, millions have become successful at it. And here are two concrete truths: no two people have the same writing ability, and not all writers write well. Still, you must do as good writers do. To become successful, it is imperative your old idea has a new spin on it, or you have a fresh idea (good luck with this one). Then it is necessary for you to plant butt-in-chair, fail half a dozen times, throw things, lose sleep, and if necessary, go broke, and keep fantasizing your dreams to reality. Unless you have a physical handicap keeping you from implementing these things, there is absolutely nothing standing in your way to become a writer.
So, plant your butt-in-chair and join me on this stressful journey to success. Take whatever idea you have and hammer away at it until you have accomplished every single thing imaginable. There will be roadblocks, so, don’t pretend they aren’t coming. Rather, be prepared for them. Think of yourself as abnormal if roadblocks don’t emerge. Nevertheless, determine to move forward. You can do this and so can I. This document proves my success. Show the world yours.
Donna B. Comeaux
Freelance Writer, Author, Poet
